...continues. Nixing the Toshiba idea, just got back from some stores and looked them over. Keyboard, yuck. Last row spaced too far away, and since they are 'lifted' like tiny mushrooms all it would take is one little thing to get snagged beneath and rip them right off. Three store demo models were actually minus keys, all Toshibas. 'Nough said. Reason further, however, is fact that YES I CAN get a PC with Windows XP! Whoo-hoo! XP Business Professional is what can be installed at places like Dell. Costs $100.00 extra, (you get the Vista disc free with the system for when you want to 'upgrade',) but it will be worth it. Especially considering Vista is going to be replaced next year with OS Windows 7.

Beyond that though, my darling Emile said the magic words to me today, which were: "Get what you want." Followed by: "We can afford it."

*Swoons*

Now, that last may not be exactly true, however, a commission started three years ago for a custom built ULF (Ultra Large Format) camera was just completed, and the percentage Emile made for being the go between of customer and builder (high blood pressure, threats, hours of phone calls, emails after emails after emails, inspections, returns, more threats and shouting since the builder who can make a best of the best cameras is a pathological liar, lazy and sloppy because he is lazy. Bugger actually forgot to put the hardware on a $4,000 camera once, thus upon receiving it fell apart, there being nothing actually holding the damn thing together, just wood slotted into wood. Also phones you out of the blue, saying your camera has been shipped, should be there in two days, gives you a UPS tracking number...only to find out he made it up. Tracking number is bogus, and when you phone him back after waiting around all day long for your delivery he admits he has not actually started making the camera yet. Be eight months more at least, crap like that,) will cover a good bit of a nice new computer system for me.

Further, doing lots of research and reviews, Emile came to me saying--holds breath-- "Have you heard about Alienware?"

*Shrieks!*

BTW Alienware also comes with OS Windows XP Biz Professional too if you want.

Drools.

So now I am playing around online building a custom system. (Hehe!) An Area-51 m15x 15.4" LCD. Bells and whistles, Lightscribe DVD RW, glowing, lit keyboard in my choice of color, (which will be an awesome help when I type late at night in low light conditions,) RAM and speed up the ass and three years of in home, next business day tech service around $2,500. I mention this to Emile and he says, "Get what you want," once more. "Get everything you need because you will be using it." Recalls as well that 30% is write off able at end of the year...

Alright, may not go that way, (more like probably because it really is too expensive.) might end up with a Dell Latitude D830 or Precision M4300 (BTW Dell makes Alienware as well,) because even if I am going to venture deeper into the 3D graphic art creations for book covers and eBook art there really is only so much I need, and main purpose of my computer is writing and website design work. Video creations for the websites, as well as our upcoming DVD creations on Tibetan bowls, etc. Still, considering this is a laptop that is going to be running the Aura Chakra video station at shows, the Alienware Smart Bay is a bonus. It is where you have a slot to so can pull out and exchange your DVD gizmo with a second battery or extra hard drive on instant whenever you feel like it. More then once we've been to shows where they lost power, and that second battery could be a survival issue at that point. Sure, may not be able to prints then, but with all that memory it is a piece of cake to save and then print up and mail to people the next day from home.

Guess everything is going to depend on the answers we get from the Aura station software manufacturers at this point. Cutting edge in biofeedback technology, but backwards when it comes to WORD and program compatibilities. Like it can not be used with anything beyond WORD 2003 last we heard. (Fingers crossed it has changed.) Considering that is the only program that displays the photos and reports it is an issue. Also, Alienware seems to be a 64 bit system, not a 32 bit. Very sensitive for a $10,000 program, even with the same operating system and proper WORD programs something about Sony computers screws it up.

Needless to say I am keeping my fingers crossed here. Have decided on the Ripley cover and I want my glowing alien face! LOL!

Well anyways, we shall see. Going to wing by HP now since I still have an affection for Conpaqs, and after our hands-on store venture they still seem the nicest when it comes to keyboard design and stability. Don't think you can get them with XP though...

Okay, off to window shop some more. if nothing else, it's fun as hell.

Cheers,

Melissa

Buy a song, I make a few pennies...or at least a couple thin shavings. LOL

Hi gang, hugs all around.

Well the literary agent answered my inquiry email yesterday morning. Has been having a crazy bust few weeks along with some travel, yet the response was:

So off a copy went yesterday. Fingers crossed, folks!

Next, with luck I shall be getting a new laptop this weekend. Love, love, love my one now, but it is only a matter of time till it wheezes its last. Am looking at a kick-ass Toshiba, but we shall see. (One looking at Toshiba Satellite X205-SLI5 17" Widescreen Laptop. Intel Core 2 Duo T8300, 320GB hard drive, 3GB of DDR2 memory, hard drive speed 7200RPM...ooo-la-la!) is actually meant for gaming, but beyond the Aura/Chakra programs I have some 3D art proggies (Like Z-Brush) that need the space. Book and CD cover art and graphics, the tarot deck I am designing, stuff like that. Never had a Tosh before, always went with Compaq, but they do not make them like the used too. My main concern is, no guesses, VISTA. Of course I could go to HP direct and get a “downgrade” option of XP...still thinking of it. Would go MAC, only the Aura Chakra programs do not work with a MAC. Called the company and they said yes, their programs do work with Vista, so we shall see. Still window shopping at this point. Price is a major “ouchie” but since it’s for business 30% is write-off able so we shall see. Besides, no problem with dreaming, right?

Well, that’s the good stuff, now on to the suckie.

Family. Family = headache for Melissa.

Really thought I had a handle on things, had the “I know the principles involved, know who they are and what they are like, and I do not need to be effected detrimentally by these people,” thing down.

Like I did not give me mother a call this Mother’s Day. Reason for that was what happened last year. Mom lives across the country from me, lives close to my sister and her kids. My sister and I do not get along, are simply just too different in how we choose to be and live in this world. Details are not required.

Anyway, I had called mom, we were having a great conversation, then suddenly something changed. Mom started reacting like she was chatting with an annoying neighbor. No responses now except neutral ‘uh-huh’s’, ‘yeahs’ and the like. The she says, “Well, my daughter just got here so I have to go now.” Meaning she did not want my younger sister to know who she was talking to on the phone. No ending “I love and miss you,”, just an absently spoken “Bye.” Now, I understood she did not want her day ruined by having my sister turning into a bitch by finding out who was on the phone, but come on...

Now, mom is going through a nasty divorce, mentioned briefly in previous posts. To update, she has lost everything. Guy who wanted the divorce emptied their bank accounts before he told her and took off. Returned while she was at work and hauled away everything of value, from lawn tractor on down. Mom tried to have a yard sale, but not a single person showed. After putting everything away she hiked up to the highway and discovered every single sign she had put up had been pulled up and laid face down. Her husband’s boss and good buddy lives there. Enough said. Unable to make the mortgage payment, her husband now has the house because he could.

Now comes an email from my sister who has not spoken to me for a long time. They are very doing well, but have decided to sell their sign-making business and go into retail property. (Renters.)

Following is from the email:“Wayne and I are taking her (mom) to look at a trailer in a mobile home retirement (over 55) park today. We are seriously considering purchasing this trailer for her as long as she can make lot payments and utilities. I don't want to make her pay for it because she will need all the money she earns in savings for when she can no longer work. That won't be too far down the road... So, I am asking if you both have any desire to help out with purchases of a home for our mother. We are prepared to get a loan and purchase it ourselves but the thought came to me that you might want to be included in this decision. I don't want you to have any reason to say you were never asked to help. If you decided you would like to help with the purchase, I will give you financial details.”

“I don't want you to have any reason to say you were never asked to help.” Love that line.

Now, not going into it, yet I did not contact her back as yet on the matter. Looks like I do not have too since mom called me on Wednesday.

Sister and her husband have bought two nice homes to rent out and mom was to have one of them, but that is not going to happen now. A depressed personality with a mile-wide self destructive of personal happiness streak, mom drinks when times are bad. She got a DWI and spent the night in jail. Had a psyc evaluation and was deemed “a very sad and depressed person” so has been ordered by the court take a series of classes ($45.00 a pop).

Because of this happening, she is not going to be allowed to live in the home my sister and her family bought for her, telling her, and I quote: “You have brought shame and disgrace upon our family.”

Here is where I remind folks that my sister and her husband are Born Again Christians. Reason my sister despises me is that I once had the balls to tell her to actually live the quote that ends her emails, being “let love into your heart” because if there is any single person on this planet who does not do this thing, it is her. Told her this after I discovered she had went to mom’s then still husband while mom was not home, sat him at the kitchen table to tell him about all the boyfriends mom had had in her life during the years before they were married because my sister in ‘good consciousness’ could no longer stand the burden of ‘guilty silence’. Mom’s husband got pissed at my sister for being a bitch, could not comprehend how anyone could do such a thing or feel they had a reason too, I got pissed at my sister, told her to let some love into her heart...and from that moment on became the bad guy to everyone. Mom was quite cold towards me for a good year plus...

Back to the present. Now, mom--who has been extended the offer to come live with me and Emile on several occasions and refuses (wanting to be near her grandkids)--is going to have to get rid of her dog, a toy breed and the only thing she has of companionship in her life, join the YWCA in order to take showers and live in her truck.

Now get this, soon as I heard that “You have brought shame, blah-blah” line I got furious. Told her families were supposed to come together and help one another during times like this, and that it was the most horrendous and biggest crock of shit I had ever heard in my life and it was not true, how dare anyone think something like that let alone say it when mom is going through everything that she is right now...stuff like that. All mom could say is that no, is was true, they had every right to do what they did and that I should not say bad things like that about my sister. Damn near started to get panicky. Hung up soon after.

LOL, but Emile was in raging-shaky state same as I was, said I should write my sister a good long letter and lay it all on the line. I said to what purpose? You know her, do you think she will listen? No, she will not, because that is who she is. Not in this instance, but in many such as that sit down with mom’s then husband experienced over the years, we both know my sister. Not for good reason does she do those types of things, (many, many, many such,) merely because she enjoys doing those things. My sister truly enjoys doing such things to my mother. Gets off on it. Drops a bomb from the blue and sits back with a grin on her face to watch the fireworks. More traumatic the better. My young sister is an evil person, lacking all morals except for things she ‘says’ (because she gets a lot of attention and praise for saying such things,) and it pains me the unhealthy relationship between mom and her, but it is the way things are and throughout my life it has been proven time and time again that there is nothing I can do about any of it.

Ah well. Like I said, thought I had gotten beyond becoming emotionally involved in these things, but haven’t. Got a whopping stress headache and the whole nine yards. Still feeling it, to the level I did when my sister forced my then thirteen year old niece to have radiation ‘treatments’ for her diagnosed case of ‘adolescent arthritis’. (I.e Fibromialgia.) Not that it helped--of course it wouldn’t--however, it did get my sister a lot of attention for having a poor, sick daughter like that to talk to everyone about. Yup, pity the poor mother who stressed out her intelligent and sensitive daughter enough to make her ill in the first place...and now has undergone extensive radiation exposure during her young body’s most critical, growing years...

Anyhows, that’s some of the latest from my neck of the woods and things that have been keeping me busy, as well as reclusive. Hate it, trying to do better...oh yeah, one more thing. The house we wanted to buy sold to someone else. Hurts like hell, still, probably for the best. Would have been such a burden and taken too much energies and years to ever realize what would have made it a dream. My mind says it is a good thing, and I truly do know it is, yet there is still sadness. No biggie, a better, brighter future awaits. I don’t know, but it still feels--as tumultuous and whirlwind uncertain as things are now--that everything that is happening is meant to happen. The friction that ignites and propels us on to something much finer--this thing that is also meant.

Okay-d, that’s it for now. Been working our asses off past few days and am going to go chill out a bit.

Hugs and keep smiling, folks! Believe it or not I still am.

Then again, maybe I’ve just cracked? LOL!

Cheers,

Melissa

Hello everyone, yes I am still here and just want to say THANK YOU so very, very, very much to all of you for your thoughts, well wishes and comments. Hope you can forgive and understand, but I couldn't deal a bit there... No, better to say it was more needing recovery from the exhaustion of months and months back to back of taking care 24-7 of two beloved pets like that and I needed to step back, not keep opening up the too raw and fresh wounds. Still having trouble just looking at photographs, let alone think and write... Amazing how this stuff will just creap up and wham you sometimes when you least expect it.

Anyways, we are 'back' from our vacation, basically unplugged from everything totally for almost two weeks, and as a result it has been further weeks of hitting the grindstone full running to catch up. (Oh my gosh, the email backlog alone!!!) Let's just say that keeping busy and work is helping. No more delays, it is time to finalize the next stages of our lives and careers here.

So much has happened though, Emile's birthday on May 8th, hosted two psychic fairs, family reunions, (on Emile's side) a huge load of BS from my sister, dinner out with friends, road trips and a couple of really nice hikes that I need to put together a couple video/photo YouTubes on.

Ha, speaking of that, some jerk grabbed a couple of Emile's singing bowl performance videos, changed the titles, digitally altered them to remove his name, website, credits and fact that it is copyrighted material and inserted their own website addy smack across the whole thing. Snarls... Submitted a copyright infringment complain with YouTube, we'll see if they pull them or not.

Was very excited because a robin built a nest in the tree on our back steps, three feet from the door and you just had to go on your tip-toes a little to peek right in. Was going to take a photo journal of the eggs, the cute two chicks as they grew...but a crow came along and ate them, so so much for that.

Life for the rest of us, however, goes on.

Tell you though it has been something. Not just Emile and myself needing to re-center, but just last week a lady came into the shop and just stood there, said, "I can't deal with not seeing Miss Jinx sitting on the front steps..." and then she burst out crying. Apologized like crazy, I mean she was our cat, right? Still, this is just one example of the like. Nice though, there was a certain amber ring she had wanted for a long time and she bought it, put it on her finger and said, "This is going to be very special for me. I am going to look at it and remember her always, the energy and warmth, to me, this ring is going to symbolize all that she meant to me and I will treasure it forever."

Yes, a very special cat, just like I have said.

One of our readers who came to this fair (she had already gotten the news) just came and had to stand there, trying to get herself under control as well for the day. At the end she almost lost it too, still, it is just life.

Stories, stories and more stories from practically everyone who comes into the shop. Hugs galore, only LOL it is more like me giving them out the receiving. Sheesh. Sorry, like I said, it was just hard for me to come back here and write anything. Better now, if still inundated with work and the like. Again though, nothing bad, all productive and leaving us with a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day at least.

Bah, now if only the house wasn't so empty and quiet...

Anyhows, we're cool here. Might finally have some movement with my writing career as well. A literary agent from New York (thirty years in the biz) made damn sure I had her card to get in contact with her. Going to do that tomorrow or next day so keep fingers crossed!

Okay that's all for now. Have to baby my laptop because it is starting to make mechanical 'clink-clunk' sounds when the hardrive kicks in. Argh, I so do NOT want anything with VISTA, but will have to go that route because of the Aura Chakra video program, which, thank gods DOES work with VISTA.

At least that's what the techs tell us.

Fingers and toes crossed on that one.

Okay, cheers and hugs to everyone,

Melissa

We just laid Miss Jinx to rest a little while ago in the garden. She passed around ten this evening and it was quick and gentle as could be as she simple lay down and went to sleep for the last time.

I knew it was going to happen, at least sometime within the next day or so; we all knew it was her time, and Emile and I had decided to stop with her treatment. That damn stubbornness and bitchy attitude of hers is what did it. The medicine helped, she got strong--really, really strong, woke up and decided she did not like things one bit, thank you very much; the holding down and taste of the crap. And who could blame her? Shit is cherry flavored and a thick syrup--yuck! So because her body was at low reserves due to her prev hunger strikes, the stress was simply too much. So she fought and fought hard; got one does out of five, bit, clawed, stopped eating completely, and as grand finally, after the last dose, got up weakly to return to my room where she was staying to take a rather large piss on the carpet under my computer chair.

Point made, Miss Jinx, so we stopped. It was clear there was no way possible to continue. She had passed the edge by then; to continue would have been a cruelty. Nor was it the stopping of the attempts at medication that did it, since like I said, she fought, and even what little we managed to get into her simply came right up so she was not getting any anyways. Time to let her remaining time be calmer and dignified.

Had eaten nothing for over two days now and I had a feeling, (she was at the front door yesterday, first time in days, and you could tell she wanted to go outside to die,) so all day today I was petting her and telling her that it was all right to rest now, to go to sleep and go find Timber to play with. The chair where she was staying is surrounded by his stuffed toys which she adopted and always played with after his death. Basically, anything I could do to bring her some comfort, even though she was weak and not in any true pain. I would like to think they helped when we could not be with her ourselves.

About nine p.m. I was tired and went into the tub, before doing so I said to Emile to go in and pet her. She had made a few soft meows once earlier in the evening, so I asked him to listen in case she did such again. She did and he did. Emile stayed petting her for about fifteen minutes and she settled a few moments into it. He told me (later) that he had also told her everything was fine and to go to sleep now.

Not more then ten minutes after that I got out of the tub and came into my room and saw she had done so.

It hurts like hell and there are many tears, since she was the last bit of, well, happiness and emotional comfort and support that Emile and I have during these trying times. Yes, we do have each other, still, those of you with pets and no other true family will understand.

Still, she is at peace now like she wanted, and even though it was only two years, I am happy for that time and what she gave to us. Even customers at the store, Miss Jinx just touched so many lives. Often she would sit outside on the steps, just wait for someone to come by and go great them to be worshipped before turning her back and retaking her throne in the sun. (LOL more then once folks would come in and say “I’m not here to shop, just followed the cat in. What’s her name?”) She would sit with people on the porch and come inside back and forth all day long during our psychic fair days. Had a real nose for people in need, and she would twine herself between the reading psychics’ legs and go up to be petted by the clients, often rubbing against the legs of those who were going through strong emotional episodes, gave them a moment of calmness and centering. She stopped many tears in her time, our Miss Jinx did.

People are going to be devastated this Sunday’s fair. Just two days ago Emile told me (since much of my time has been spent upstairs with her so she was not so often alone) a lady had come in and asked where Miss Jinx was? Emile told her and the lady was floored, heh, damn near as distraught as we ourselves have been. Yeah, this Sunday should be a blast... It will be all right though, even before this we decided we were going to take from Monday 5th till Wed. 14th off. We are exhausted as is, but the time will be needed even more now.

Anyway, Miss Jinx is asleep in the garden where she would be chased as well as chase Timber around in return now. Wrapped and buried with crystals, there is one on top of the ground that I will take with us when we move to retain the connection of such a wonderful soul and spirit.

Goodnight, girl. Thank you for coming into our lives and giving us what you did during the time you had. We love and will never forget you. Rest in peace little lady, you earned it well.

Hi folk, just a quick one to let you know Miss Jinx is still with us.

I'll come back with details of the vet's word later, just too damn tired right now; seems like free minutes are so scant.

Anyways, after the vets Miss Jinx stopped eating totally again, was down to skinny-bone paws and everything within 24 hours. She's much better now, at least has gained a bit of weight (paws are fleshed out again fine) since then and is more aware for past few days, not just the 'sick cat huddle and lay with head bowed' bit. Actually sits up most of the day with eyes open wide and clear and likes to be around where things are busy (with us, not just staying secluded in my artroom anymore.)

Bah, 1:30am so what the heck? Well, seems when the vet called us that day she said along with the lukemia (spelling) the bloodwork indicated a parasite so she was prescribing medication for that. That's why it made no sense to arrive and find a prescrip. for Bartinella.

Anyhows, the vet called us late afternoon the next day (sounding 'nice' ha,) and said that was her fault. She had relooked over the bloodwork (that must have been a first) and it wasn't a parasite, but Bartinella. Seems cats with lukemia 'do not get rid of it' with the medication, but it goes 'dormant'. (Thanks, would have liked to known that 2 years ago.) So she changed the prescript but didn't tell us that day, just went home.

How nice, her first reaction is to call us and tell us to put our cat to sleep, then she decided to actually LOOK at the blood tests she'd run.

Yeah, that's one Dr's call I hope others ask for a second opinion of!

To continue, from the bloodwork it looks like Jinx's cell count is down because she's trying to fight this thing off; the lukemia has her immunity system down and out of whack. This explains why she was having something wrong with that side of her head, since it effects mucas membranes like gums and sinuses. Also, a few days prior to brining her in again the eye on that side had started to 'run': another sign of bartinella. A rather clear sign actually. Too bad the vet refused to even look at Jinx's head.

So long story short, we are giving her the medication and she seems better in small stages. The eye has stopped running...only nuts, the stronger she gets the bitchier and harder to give her the medicine, which will take a few weeks. (Like I've mentioned, Jinx's prev people who abandoned her put a LOT of fear in her of being restrained. Took several weeks for us to be able to even pick up and hold her, which she likes now for brief moments.) Forget trying to sneek it into her food, she still only eats tiny bits at a time and at this point getting food in her is more important. After that other mis-prescribed round of antibiotic she wasn't trusting any food I was giving her at all. Smart cat, soon as she ate she got weaker and had diarrea. Didn't take her long to figure out why.

Still, she is clearly not suffering or in pain, actually wants to go outside--which again makes us the 'bad guys' since we aren't letting her. Even weak as she is she can still put on a real burt of speed. I did bring her out a few times to keep her interested in life, only she took to it too well. Ha, had to chase and gab her before she slipped under the fence and man, did she give some pissed off growl!

Of course after that she went on hunger strike again, just spent the rest of the day glaring at me, and ha, the next morning when she did her usual come in to wake us up say hello she did not climb in behind our pillows, but made damn sure to jump on both of my and Emile's stomachs. Her point and feelings made very clear.

A bitch like I've said, but one you just have to love.

And on that note I've got to try grab some sleep myself. Just wanted to thank you all for stopping by, your words and Azodnem, that candle is wonderful, thank you so much! (BIG HUGS)

Further hugs to all and good night till next time,

Melissa

Well it's a lovely fuckin' day out there so grabbed some me-time and took some snaps in our garden:

STAR MAGNOLIA IN BLOOM

MY APRICOT TREE IN FLOWER

I love these for desktop imaes. Really helps.

And despite the gods damned vet, Miss Jinx woke us up same as usual, feeling very fine and ate some food I mixed with powdered desc. liver pills, meaning that yes, she survived the night and is feeling good, thank you so very much for nothing, and you can shove "The Needle" up your own ass, bitch.

Okay, I'm still in "a mood" over yesterday's traumatizing ordeal and life in general, still I'm trying and still here. Take it for what it's worth.

Beyond that, better go dash for some breakfast myself; today and tomorrow are going to be piled high with things to do/deal with. Fingers crossed for this morning though, have a Holistic Healer we work with (super nice and wonderful lady) and she is bringing three of her students by in a short bit to look over our just arrived (finally cleared customs) latest and whomper batch of Singing Bowls. Store is dead in the water otherwise across the board (them's the times we live in) so this could really help us out towards gaining a bit more for new home and the possibility we'll have to carry two mortgages for awhile. No problem. In fact, I am aching for just that sort of 'trouble' if it means we can get out of here.

Okay people, wishing you all a good one and blessing all around,

Melissa

This is going to be quick (ha) because there is no way I can cover the full hell we've been put through today or the near (I say over the top) criminal actions of these money-churning factory "veterinarians".

To make LONG story short, Miss Jinx's leukemia has kicked in so it is just a matter of time till she is gone. Days or weeks, though the vet-bitch called us on the phone (since we had to leave poor Miss Jinx in their clutches today, thing I will regret forever,) and said we really should just give her The Needle today--and if we don't "We are very bad people who like our animals to suffer." (Not said in those exact word, yet really, really fucking CLEAR in how and tone of condescending voice which such 'suggestion' was given on the phone.)

Thank gods we managed to break her free (almost didn't. Secretary was refusing to 'release' our cat due to that fact that we did not buy a slew of medications re: get rid of Bartinella--which we did 2 years ago--and which the "Dr." before going home did not mention to us at all. After the antibiotics two weeks ago that were prescribed needlessly and only made Miss Jinx weaker with diarrhea and fever we were not about to start dosing her due to a wrong box checked off--again.

Another thing pissing us off here, we brought her in two weeks ago for a "full health exam" however, that said exam seemed to only (when we called them on it) consist of One: taking her temperature and Two: putting her on a scale to weigh. That and prescribe her antibiotic drugs to get rid of whatever was making her sick.

Now there is one thing we have noticed, and it is that the left side of Miss Jinx's head has been bothering her for a while, worse over the past month. We wanted to make certain her whole not wanting to eat no matter hungry is not due to a bad tooth or ear mites (which she may have. Really bitchy when it comes to being messed with is our Miss Jinx, though I try to keep ears cleaned. Still, it looks like she might have a case, maybe.) or combo of both mites and tooth problem. Note, they never checked on these things two weeks ago during her "Full health exam."

So what does the "Dr." say today? Quote near exact: "I'm not going to bother looking at her ears. If she has a bad tooth clearly she has learned to compensate for it. All I am going to do is blood work."

This after trying to accuse us of forcing our cat to suffer by letting her live another minute?!!

BTW Miss Jinx is doing nicely right now, happy as hell to be home. Shot out of the carrier first thing, did a full tour of the house (upstairs and down) with lots of purrs, ate some mashed up liver I've been cooking up for her and then leapt up to her normal, afternoon sunning area atop a pile of boxes four feet from the ground to groom and then take a nap.

Yeah, she's totally on "death's fucking door" alright.

Okay, I've got to relax, though it's been a day of tears after several calls from vets back and forth. Like before the bloodwork during whatever the hell (nothing) they did on today's first "Full health exam" they called us to say Miss Jinx was left so stressed out by the ordeal she was limp and had mouth open panting just to draw breath. Told us their opinion was she would not survive another visit due to stress. Can't tell that by looking at her now, but how were we supposed to know that five hours ago?

All I can say after several hundred bucks lighter is "Those ASSHOLES!"

Melissa (mad and trying not to cry over loosing Miss Jinx from our lives...according to these vets at any moment...so soon after Timber. Yet no matter what, she is going to pass gently with us.)

Hey gang, just checking in. Wanted to thank all my friends for dropping a note and wishes for Miss Jinx. (((hugs))) Still no change, just constant back and forth strong and aware, then zonked out weak from moment to moment, like walking a tightrope where she could choose one side or the other. Fingers crossed though. She's one tough little B, stubborn as hell...well, basically, a cat.

Man, talk about f'ed up, you want your sick cat to be strong enough to survive going to the vets...ha.

Anyhows, today is April 15th, the day our 'taxes' are due in the US...so I guess I better do them. Whee, paperwork! Bummer, but I'd rather do the paper and stamp envelope bit then do what the gov wants you to do which is do them online. Why, you ask? Because if you actually read the 'fine print' at the IRS website they tell you the forms you are about to fill out are not actually done by the US Gov, or on their secure website, but are actually 'farmed out'--and it is perfectly legal for these side companies to sell your private information. Says it right there. Nice, huh? Ah well, same ol' same ol', just gotta lump it.

Well, another prospect has come up in the new home search, going to contact the realtors for disclosure forms (after taxes). Out in the boonies, but nice. No, more then nice, the place is sweet to the max. Pretty as can be inside, totally redone by the artist who lives there, tile work everywhere, ash wood floors, well-spring water, tight as a drum it's so well up-kept, 15 acres of nice land which has everything. Small though, (re teeny compared to our current, beloved monster) and if we try for it we'd definitely have to build something in a year; studio space. I'd love to do that, and already see the perfect spot (and image in my head) of a 'hobbit-style' place overlooking what is the foundation for a natural Japanese water garden that the house already looks over. Used to be a beaver pond but the beaves moved away, so now it is flowing water (the continuation of the well-spring) through some hassocks of grass-islands, little side area of cattails--but flowing like I said, nothing stagnant at all.

Trees, trees everywhere in former ski country, be a good 1/2 hour to get groceries or do anything, but still... Well, we'll see. Need to get our taxes done first and maybe after that our heads will be clearer to think. Just so damn worn-down tired and we've got to weigh the realities here. Personally, I'm ready to jump long as we can get the price down a bit so we can build. Possible, very possible...fingers crossed.

Okay, I've digested breakfast and wasted my time . Till next time, cheers,

Melissa

P.S. we'll get to leaving TY notes to my friends ASAP. Many hugs again for all of you, M.

Hey everyone.

Well, they say no news is good news, but unfortunately, it’s not. Sorry, I try to stay up, only wanted to write good stuff, only there hasn’t been much of any.

Miss Jinx is sick. Over two weeks now of watching her go up and down. Got her to start eating again, she went from 8 pounds to 7 so fast. Looks like she’s starting to put weight on again, but after a couple good days she is going around sleeping in a daze again weak...

Well, we’ll bring her back to the vets again. maybe next week. She was just so traumatized last time, the reason she stopped eating. Was walking around like she was in pain for two days, think she struggled and they had to use some force to hold her down for the checkup. She has such fear of being restrained, trauma from her former ‘people’ the ones left her with the hernia.

Anyways, the antibiotics just seemed to make her sicker but they’re done now. Really, we don’t know if she just caught something, got into some poison (been some trouble with the a-hole racist runs the store next to us. Petty, petty shit. Called police twice in a week because we had customers parked in front of OUR building for too long. He had 15 minute parking limit signs put up. Italian and had ‘connections’. Not legal, but he got it done. Anyhows, was times when he was dead and the rest of the street was empty so it was no problem, just petty stuff like I said. Bad note, this lady was just needing to talk about her troubles, leaving an abusive husband trying to get her kids, and this a-hole ‘neighbor’ calls cops to give her a ticket. E laid into the cop, and we got lucky it didn’t get totally out of hand. E going through an extremely hard astrological trip right now. It’s been hard to deal with, but have too. Anyhows, soon as it happened Miss Jinx got 'sick'...) or else her Leukemia has kicked in... Well, have some blood tests done in when we think she can manage it.

Beyond that, get home yesterday (closed the store) from VT, more house hunting. Found a sweet little place, and if it had one room more it might work...we’ll have to think hard on it. But anyways, get home and my email (not the store one) has a bunch of things from a customer who had a freak-out. Dreams E was putting curses on them through an item on layaway...totally whew... Anyways, trying to get their money back to them and cut off contact. Hope it won’t turn into a police thing...fingers crossed. Proof again it’s just not worth trying to help people... Not their fault, only we can't / don't need people like this in our lives now on top of everything else...

Well, TONS more stuff (bad) happened today, but just can’t go into it. Shaking trying to hold on, but I know a good cry is on the way. Just so much happening and helpless against any of it.

Final note, am sorry, but all comments have to be approved now on my/our assorted blogs. 47 spam messages yesterday and had another 38 today...on top of the same for past week. I can’t take any more to deal with this on a daily basis, sorry.

‘Kay, I’m wiped out, nervous wreck just waiting for the next cry of ‘incoming’ shit to get hit with. I just hope Miss Jinx pulls through.

Oh well. Nighters,

Melissa

Well, as promised, a picture of the ‘ugly’ crystal that I picked up at the gem and mineral show the other weekend. Comes from CT here, W. Stafford to be exact. Quartz covered with some sort of other mineral. Picked up a whole flat (flat box) of ‘em from the digger himself. (To sell in the shop.) Didn’t get to talk much, place was busy and we didn’t have much time since we had to run back to open the store, but another piece clearly has some dusting of pyrite. I like this one though, have it right next t me as I write here. Lol, that one point on the top looks like a turtle head to me, Gamera that is. Cool, one of my fav Heroes of youth.

Beyond that, no concert for E tonight. LOL it’s next week thank goodness, which means if I push, I might actually get to find out where it’s going down and post it on the event’s page of the site.

Other then that, put in another counter offer on the house we like today via email. Oh man, they have got to hate us, the sellers to the realtor agency, but what the hell? It’s our life and money here and whether they want to say aloud the truth they all know about the economy and how property values are going to take a nosedive, its still true. Not our problem, and if not this place, then another. Just taking it slow a day at a time and no rush. We can deal with what we have to...though an owner of another ‘new age’ shop who has to move but wants to stay in town came by to see our building to possibly buy. Well, only if the price is right, otherwise, we may just fix the old place here soup to nuts and rent it out. If nothing else, we’ve got options galore.

Okay, time to sit back and digest my steak dinner. Lots of whole, roasted garlic cloves were tossed into the pan and YUM!

Cheers,

Melissa

Alright, those of you who know me know that I've got a thing for bones. Don't know what it is, only it is relaxing to have them about. (Skulls, jaws, legs, knuckles, whatever I can find while hiking, or what friends send me as gifts. Mice to deer, they're all here, hehe!) I think it may have something to do with being empathic, the 'feeling' of others about you, always prickling my skin when I'm out in the jarring world, but animal bones? Shrugs, what can I say? They calm and relax, as well as my artist's eye just has to look at them with touch of awe; the planes and curves...elegancy found in simplicity of form with purpose.

Not to mention these ones don't freakin' hurt all the time. Ha.

Anyhows, this isn't a long post so I won't be going on about my collection (which is mostly packed away for months...sighs...) No, what I am writing this little jot about if the fact that I am VERY THANKFUL that the time we had a realtor doing a walk-through of the place that my closet was inaccessible due to a heap of junk before it.

Yes, we've all heard the phrase "Having a skeleton in the closet," but holy crap, I TOTALLY FORGOT about this pile until I looked recently:

ROFL! Was doing a live chat with my dearest friend in this world Shine and I showed him and he goes "Wow, it looks real."

I said "That's because it is real." A pause, then I told him it was a deer I'd picked up on a hike and he goes: "Whew! That's a relief!"

Man, come on, give me a break! Yes, I know he knows me, but...uhm. Hehe.  

Ah well, that's life.

Cheers folks,

Melissa

Well, I am trying to put a few things in my life in order, *snorts wryly* namely have different blogs for my different interests and friends (already have my 'official' writer's one) so here's my one for my Pipe & Cigar hobby pals:

http://lady_pipester_mj.bravejournal.com/

Lets just say there are some things that different groups of folks just don't need to know about me.

Whew, busy, busy week I tell you, but then they all are. Whew!

Okay, after work last night (Wednesday) we brought the aura-chakra station in to be a 'guest' at a holistic health class at the community college. Supposed to be 2 hours but went for over three, kept steady the whole time doing photo after photo and then a bunch of reports. Reason I was exhausted and depressed today, because my energies, all of them were taxed out-kaput! No centering left, but feeling better now. This morning started right off, jumping into the maelstrom, but around 2 o'clock we got some lunch and I got the rest of the day off. 10:30 pm now and thinking of starting on dinner...

Speaking of dinner, had a great a great time Tuesday visiting our friends Joe and Pinky (yes, that is really her name, because she likes pink so much Lol ).

Pinky cooked us a fantastic Indian dinner, as usual, and as usual, I was stuffed to the gills on all the spicy-spicy and beer by the time we left at, I don't know, after 10pm to go home. Ate a pile of fried flat breads she makes up, things very thin and filled with garlic paste and rye seeds. Yum! Then there was this odd egg dish. Stir fried and then baked 1/2 eggs with tofu, potatoes, veggies and of course curry spices galore. The main salad had everything from beet leaves and chunks to blueberries; huge serving bowls full of rice and six other dishes that I can't even begin to describe. (took us 2 days to finish the take-home leftovers!) I tell you, I'm not a vegetarian, but I never have a problem eating there. Music, incense, beer, friends...good times that we need to have more of.

Okay, I'm beat and can barely see, so nighters!

Cheers,

MJ

This A-hole just went through my journal archives and spammed 7 entries in 2 days.

Heres the I.P address to ban and save yourself some grief:

80.252.134.72

GTG back to work, long day today. Shop, then doing an aura-chakra station gig at the community college. (Guest at a holistic energy class.)

Cheers,

Melissa