Trying our best to do it here, folks, yet it is very, very hard to keep from being emotionally bogged down.

Now, some of you know there are things happening in the world around Emile and myself. It has been decided for prudence's sake that I will no longer be posting specific details. If that had not been the case, there would have been several long posts relating to such this past week. It has been a hard one.

Trying to hold it together right now and admit I am failing. Hell of a thing trying not to drip and fry your laptop as you write, eh?

Then again, I am a practiced hand at that. *Chuckles* Or more accurately at this instant ‘sobs’.

Ah well.

Only, I wish this last new house had been The One. Can really feel it gang, the time clock ticking down here faster and faster. I know it is one of his few sanctuaries left, however, I am going to suggest to Emile he pack up his drums and maybe store them at a friend’s house. Yes, stuff is just stuff, only instruments take on a certain life of their own, and I feel it far better he is without their company for a short term instead of loosing them permanently.

Oh gosh, folks, harder and harder to uphold the ‘happy and everything is fine in our world’ front. Only 5 friends know what is going on here, (most far away) still, E and I are on our own. Has to be like that, so many things held in the tenuous balance. We CAN NOT draw any more attentions to ourselves for many reasons, keeping the business and income flowing the main. Living with ‘lights out’ here. Sometimes I am able to have a small candle next to my keyboard at night, but not all of them. Going out to do some scrapping on the porch outside my art room I saw the mark left from the last time. Fraction of an inch further left and they would have taken out my venting fan...that and an inch up and they would have taken out the aimed for window. So, no lights at night.

Still, we are aware and being ‘watched over’ by something positive I feel. Other day--in the middle of the day--there was some major bad happening close. Again, being aware and following our instincts so the tree screen kept our car out of it. (Only six feet away and they missed it!) More importantly, poor old Timber who was chained up and helpless in the backyard chose that moment to go silent. (We are painting inside, recall.) He dose not like being alone and was yipping.

God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. I know what would have happened. Emile is far more sensible than me. Oh, yes, we love our old boy dearly, as is, it is a blessing Timber has not passed already this summer. Still no sign he has pain from old age, a lot of weakness, tend to simply fall over a lot, yet he is sharp and aware and full of doggy smiles even now.

Still, there were a lot of them out there with baseball bats. So yes, I would hope that E would have stopped me from going out with his Samurai sword in fit of Russian/Polish rage. I would have been too late anyways. Worse thing for us E lost it as well. Truly could have happened, Hungarian and Philippine temperament there. *Chuckles*

Shit, even that was too much detail. No problem, no one reads these things anyway.

Now, on top of that we’ve further troubles. The August 19th post “Day’s end or beginning: life update” post. As said, we had a wonderful time, felt very good afterwards, only it turns out that the people who invited us to attend the event (to which we debated agreeing to go to for a month and a half because we knew the timing would be rough for us) yet the people did not say they were trying someone different for that event to do the aura photography.

Well, E really got slammed at the fair he vended the next day by that greedy bitch L.W. She accused us of ‘stealing her gig’ even though we were told we would be brought in ‘maybe’ at alternating fairs. Hell, they did have someone there besides us doing bio feedback readings at the same time anyways. No problems there. Still, this bitch accused E of LYING and send bad vibes at him all day long. Spoke some real bad stuff about us to the coordinators. (Note these are people we hire ourselves to do psychic readings at OUR fairs) Politics, so now it looks like we may be banned from the Newtown fair we went to AND the CT astrological society fairs where Emile only goes with the singing bowls as well.

Now we have the jerk who rents the small building next to us talking some shit and glaring every single day for past three months. Guy runs a deli, brings lots of trouble with the junkies here. 2 weeks ago one came by after hours, saw the deli/liquor store was closed and went into a rampage, kicked over all the garbage cans and recyclables so Emile had to leave the late dinner we had just managed to sit down to and go clean it up. Ours and the asshole neighbors.

Like I say, Marco rents, does not know how many times we have watched over his place, does not care we are out there daily cleaning garbage left from his customers out of our flowerbeds and porch.

What is his beef, you ask? We put our garbage cans next to his on pick up day because he always had delivery trucks and if we do not our cans are ignored. Understand, it is only a 3 foot margin, however, it seems to mean a lot to this guy. Hell, other day he actually picked up all our recycle bins off of the street and walked them up our sidewalk so they could not be picked up. Talk about an little tin tyrant! Italian though with LOTS of ‘connections’. Because of his delivery trucks he ‘spoke’ to some of his pals and had a ‘no parking’ sign put in front of OUR house/business. Not legal, so they did not set it permanent. So for past year we have had a cut in business as well as almost EVERY SINGLE DAY Emile is out there picking it up out of the street where students kick it over. Found it laying across our driveway half a dozen times. So then Marco starts pulling this ‘your garbage and my garbage shit’ and by gods, enough is enough. So screwing up his back, (After being accosted for final time.) Emile picked it up again from center of our driveway and moved it back up the 20 feet in front of Marco’s Deli. (Deli is 5 feet next to our building. Hell, not even that. I can touch it reaching outside my window without putting my arm out fully. Only the street sign keeps traveling down till it is on other side of our building.)

Oh boy, is he talking some horrible shit about us now! To every customer, city workers, whomever he can. In fact, the lazy ass called his city ppl to come move the sign. Emile was out there and the city worker starts yelling at him about how it is illegal for us to touch the signs. Emile says, “It was in our driveway.” Guy goes “Oh.” and that was end of that. For now.

Just small shit it would seem, only we’re getting hit from all sides here, folks. Getting so tired. Getting so scared and desperate. Burnt out and inundated like you should be thankful you never will.

Okay, I can’t write about this anymore. Only so much one can do when the whole world turns against you for no reason. Just Emile and myself against it all.

Universe, if You are listening we are trying, doing our best with what we got. Please though, need some help here. Need our new home and life fast, please. Something really bad is coming and I do not know what we are going to do. Survive, yes, yet I think we are suffering enough right now without the Big Trauma.

Just so tired.

Whew, time to regain control, set the ‘happy face’ in place before E wakes up. For him and everyone else. Ignore the pain in my legs and get up, get back to work. So much needs to be done to the house. If it rains like it looks it might, guess I will work in the kitchen. Start painting over my murals. Today or tomorrow, depends how much work we can get done. Final two days of our ‘vacation’ after all. So little done, so little energy and time...

I don’t know what we are going to do, only that we do not have much time left to do it in...

Ha, going to get in trouble for posting even these 'teasers' only, swear, I have to do something to stabalize myself....

M.