Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh...pain today. Lot and lots of pain throughout the body, type where there is a voice in back of your head in constant state of screaming. Ah well, whatever.

Nasty day outside, heavy barometer pressure, humid and damp, months of stress and weeks of non-stop physical labors and pushing well beyond the reserves. Again, ah well, the show must go on!

Still, I consider even this a cake-walk, problem is that it has simply been so long since and fibromialgia attack of merit. Mental activity is the only thing for it, to fend off the depression. Really sucks though, no relief no matter what you do. Laying down is excruciating, the weight of your own bones seeming to squeeze muscles and flesh between them and the bed as if gravity has been turned up a good twist. Sitting...ugh, yet it sure beats standing and risking a fall.

Whew, talk about an interesting sensation. Rising from your chair and feeling every muscle and chunk of flesh slogging, being yanked down as if a black hole has abruptly appeared beneath your feet. Brings dizziness till thing resettle in new position. Real F’ing annoying if you ask me.

Oh yes, even this state is a cake-walk to things I’ve experienced before, I promise you. After all, it has only been a morning, not this state constantly (and I mean that literally) for five to nine months in a shot. (Once it was even eleven months till I had a single day with some alleviation. My gods, what a thing, to remember that there is such a thing as being without pain! Ah, people, you do not know the miracle, the gift, most of you possess just in that. The rest of your problems, work, other people and daily little snags, hell, they are not that bad. Just passing crap, do not let it mangle your emotions and mind. Everything passes in time--and then forgotten. I get that shit as well, so yeah, I do know of what I speak.)

No god damn canes though, no way and no how. (Not that hands can hold much anyhows, right? Sheesh!) Nah, just a little body revolt and weather. I can take it.

LOL, like I got a choice, right?

My gods, even breathing is an effort. Just the rising of the chest a struggle against the weight.

Physical pain is an interesting subject. Not certain if I have given my view on it yet here or not. I believe pain (again, this is all in regards to physical) is actually a vibration more than a touchable sensation.

Note the body’s reaction to a sudden trauma, say stub your toe and go “Ouch!” to put it simply. Then if it is something ongoing, there is moans and whimpers, as if something wishes to escape.

So my views on pain is this: it is an Vibration/an Sound. At times I wonder if the body knows this, and our response calls are exactly that--an effort to get it out of us.

Imagine, if we could align with that vibration of sound, match it in pitch exactly with throat and voice, then we could literally just cry it out. Vomit it up in a heaving Scream right out of the system once and for all and be done with it.

Ah, yes indeed, that would be most cool.

Too bad the one in back of my head is just a shivering wreck. Bummer.

So yes, I am going to take the early morning hours off. Get ready for the vending and aura reading show tomorrow in the afternoon.

Loading the car should be veeerry, veeerry, interesting. Yuck!

Cheers and blessings, folks, I am going to try to do some writing now,

Not to mention scream a whee bit. *Chuckles*

Melissa