STORY TEASER - SPOILER - DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE READING, OR PLAN TO READ STEVEN’S STORY. HA! OTHERWISE, HAVE FUN SAMPLING MY WRITING. CHEERS, MELISSA (Please note it doesn't look like this, the blog messes it up. Ty.)

Decided to stop at a little diner to catch something before the last leg, and though he nodded and smiled a lot while I talked, it was clear his attentions were elsewhere.

Back in the car, “Penny for them.”

“Oh. Sorry, was just thinking.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Yeah. Just about vacations, how they aren’t real. It is a little hard to find anything right now. Steven, is it okay if I stay for a couple more days at the apartment? I mean, I might be able to crash at Kimberly’s, but...”

“What? David, what are you talking about?”

“Well, you know.”

“No, I do not know. What do you mean, leave? What makes you think you have to move out?” Tried to think back over everything in a rush. What might have happened, or thing I might have said—done—to have him think such a...!

“Because you do not need me anymore.”

“I do not need you anymore,” I said softly as I sat unmoving behind the wheel, heart lurching as the shock knocked the bottom out of my guts.

“Nope.”

“David, I thought...” What, Steven? What did you think? That someone like David would want to stay with you? Come on, he...the kid already told you he was never going to get himself tangled up in another relationship. Even if he does, you think he’s going to want something like that with you? No way, buddy. Nope, no way and no how, the kid is too smart for that. I mean really, he’s been through the wringer once real bad already, imagine what you would be like?

Ha, you didn’t even think of it, did you? The reality of what it would be like, the repercussions. Didn’t bother you before, the word around the office because he was living with you. No, because it was only for a couple of weeks as he recouped from his accident. And even if something had been said it would not have mattered, because you never intended to come back. Bet it would matter now though, wouldn’t it?

Vacation’s over, buddy. Time to wake up and return to the routine.

I started the car, giving the engine a moment to warm before putting it in gear and turning to back out; waited for an opening in traffic and pulled the beamer back onto the highway. By the time the process was finished it was with accepting calmness I knew what to do.

“Thought I had made that clear already? That you can stay at the apartment as long as you want? Meant what I said about the space going to waste there, kid. And don’t worry about having to deal with the grouch on the couch much. Not certain if you were right about it or not, but a corner office is a goal to shoot for at least.”

“You can do it easy.”

“Uh-huh. Still, doubt you’ll be seeing me much beyond firm hours. Even that may not last long.”

“How come?”

“Something Feldman brought up in November. Position which will be opening up around April this year. Lots of travel involved, quite a bit of it overseas. Some currier, explaining the deal with country bylaws to the locals, stuff like that.” Corner of my eye and I saw him look at me, though I kept my face forwards.

“I never heard about this.”

“No reason for you to have. Didn’t give it much thought myself before. Luckily it’s still not too late to start crunching, get myself in the running. Anyway, as I was saying, the place is there so use it as long as you want.”

“All right. Thank you.” Nodded absently. Even if the guy decide to retire next year instead of this one it still wouldn’t matter. Other places had corner offices as well. Admittedly, there was some good stuff to put on the old resume. I’d start tonight. Had a feeling I wouldn’t be getting much sleep anyway.

Yes, that was the ticket. Update that and start it circulating by the weekend. Not in the city though, had enough of this scene. Chicago maybe, hell, even something in Europe, who knows?

No, it is, who cares?

Habit to reach into my coat, yet soon as my hand touched the empty pocket I curled my mouth up and huffed sardonically. Didn’t ask the kid for his help in retrieving the aspirin bottle from the glove compartment. No, I had had all the help I deserved.

“Yup, back to the routine,” I said as I managed to get the seal broken and pop the lid. (Crunch, crunch.) “Grindstone dead ahead.”

“Steven, are you mad at me?”

“What?” I glanced over in real surprise. “What hat did you pull that one out of, kid? Why did you think I would be mad at you for anything?”

“Well, because of that,” he gestured with his chin at the bit of leftover plastic from the bottle seal. “You haven’t had a headache in days.”

“Like you said, kid, vacation is over. Not to mention it’s been more than a couple hours behind this wheel and the road is getting shittier. Why? Want to switch places?” He shook his head so I returned full attention to the road. “Smart, kid, David. Yeah, smart and good.

“Ha,” I chuckled, “Real good. Actually had me going there a while, got to admit it.”

“What do you mean?”

‘Hoped for someone like you’? Yeah, kid, sure. Stupid sometimes, yet I know you’re not that dumb. Still, it was decent of you, was a nice thing to hear, even if it was a lie.

Said he loved me? Well, maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Either way, I knew what I felt...and what was best thing to do. Nope, this sad old fuck was done screwing up other people’s lives. (Talk about being a sad old fuck, Steven, imagine getting faked out like that. Mean really now, having a woman do it is bad enough, but come on, that is just plain pathetic, man. Pa-the-tic.)

Cleared my throat, “Ah, nothing. Think that waitress slipped me decaf. Either that or it must be the influence of the Parkinson files reaching out. Or the driving. Well, whatever.”

‘Well whatever’ was right. Something in my left eye, screwing up my vision and I wiped...dried the wetted fingers on my pants without bothering to look. Tired, that was all. Just very tired.

Sheila’s voice whispering in my head, “Guess you did not spend enough, did you, Steve? See what happens when you do anything without your wallet?”

“Shut up, Shell, I did my best,” I muttered. “Hmm? Sorry, kid, asked if you wouldn’t mind changing the CD? Give this one a rest, thing is getting kind of samey.”

Same old story, Steven, that’s you.

I know, Shell. Old dogs and new tricks though, no help for us. Not for you or me.

Huh. Europe. Tenth anniversary was celebrated with a brief trip to London. Paris was not in the cards at the time, yet I had been planning to make it up to her on our twentieth. Just two years left to go. Then again, why wait? Man, talk about a real surprise!

Christ, Steven, what are you thinking? You can’t be serious?! Why not? Those calls she’d made before I left; did not make a single demand for more money, sat there on her end of the screen nodding, actually listening when I spoke a little. Just small things happening around the office, yet... Says she wants to get together, has things she wants to say to me. Things to talk about.

Of course she does. Ran through what she received in the divorce like a spoiled brat who knew there would always be more. Turned the guy she dumped me for into an embezzler, got him caught, ‘bank closed’ so of course she wants to ‘talk’ to me.

She is pregnant as well. Not mine of course, she never wanted that, yet she’s several months along. Must be worried as hell. That wasn’t good. Not like Shell was in her twenties or anything either. Read somewhere about anxiety in the mother not being good for the growing baby.

“Kid, do me a favor, have my hands full here.”

“Sure. You want more coffee?”

“No, all set there. The cell in the glove. Haven’t looked at it since we left. Mind flipping it open and scanning the voice message files?”

He did and went, “Whew!”

“Yeah, all part of the game. What I’m interested in though, anything with the author code seven, four, three, five, five?”

“Yes. A lot of them. In fact, it’s like most of them.”

“Thanks, all I wanted to know—no, I’ll take it,” I thanked him again as I stuck it in my pocket.

“Steven, if that is a client you might be in a lot of trouble for not answering.”

“Nah, you know I’m just backup staff for the big boys. Plenty others to cover. This one has to do with some financial investing I plan to do, that’s all. Yeah, going to take a real beating here. Should have gone into Euros years ago. Man, to think of the headaches I could have saved myself if I had done it earlier...”

“I should check mine too,” heard the kid say from a distance so I nodded absently.

Yes, I should have done this years ago. Hell, anyone can get bored, same old scene and story, the routine day after day. So yes, do some traveling, enjoy the smiles tossed back my way as I stood back with hands in pockets and watched her have her free for all in brand new places. Let her go a bit wild, had a year to make up for...to pay for.

Time to sell the old house. She’s right, it’s just a useless hole you toss money into. Used it a whole two weeks in fifteen year’s time, talk about a piss-poor return on an investment.

“That spells Shell.”

“What was that, kid?” I asked as casually as I could.

“The author code.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Steven...”

“Nope, say no more and have no worries, kid. Promise you there won’t be any problems with the apartment. Owe you far too damn much for your help, and no matter the rest, I do remember who my friends are. Meaning you, David. Yes, debt I owe you, kid, brought me back to my senses. Know exactly what I have to do now and how to go about it.”

“Please do not start this again, Steven.”

“What? That suicide bullshit? Nope, I’m all through with that nonsense, I give you my solemn word. No,” I gripped the wheel and smiled, “this is going to be even better. Something deserved. Uh-huh, she and I make a perfect match, you know. Same first letter in our names, same height, both part Irish. Hell, exact same eyes.”

“Your eyes are nothing alike.”

“Well, I don’t imagine they were thinking about lighting when they made the DVD, kid. Ha, still, I can assure you our shades match exactly.”

“Why doesn’t your head hurt?”

“Jesus, there’s no letting up with you, is there? Took a couple aspirin, I’m all set. Yep, it’s going to be cool beans and wavy gravy all the way from here on in. Ha, except I’ll never be able to talk like that again. Damn, hope the habit is not too hard to break or else I am going to be in sooo much trouble.”

Shit, now it was both eyes acting up, so I wiped them fast and took a deep breath to clear the sinuses. Crap, you’d think you would have to actually be back in the city, not an hour away before the smog started pulling its shit on you.

—Jerked me head away hard enough so hands on the wheel pulled us out of line, “Don’t touch me, kid.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked as hand lowered.

“Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect, meant to be exactly as it should. Like Miss Amethyst said, there are different types of people out there. Well, whichever I am, I know it is time to step back up to the plate and deal. I made my choices in this life, kid, and there isn’t anything that can change that.

“Ah, David, David, David...I am so jealous of you, you know that?”

“Me? Why?”

“Why? Christ, kid, just look at you. Got the whole god damn world ahead just waiting for you to grab it and do what you want. Young, talented, but above it all you are smart. See the pitfalls ahead in plenty of time to avoid them while the rest of us just get broken legs. Kid, promise you’ll do something for me?”

“What?”

“Well, if all works out we should be in Europe in a couple of weeks. Depending on how it goes...well, lets just say it would really mean a lot to me to get the occasional emails from you. You know, in case you need anything, but more, letting me know how it all turns out. I mean with your career, people you manage to save, most importantly though, when the right person comes along for you. Nope—I mean, no. No, do not open your mouth and start giving me all that bull. Finest human being I’ve ever met, David Markus Tyler, and even though I’m out of the fold, I still know enough to say that God is going to see good things your way. The best there is, kid, with no settling for anything less in any quarter. Swear, I do not know the reason for all the shit that went down this past year, or even if there was a reason, or purpose to it. What I do know though is because of it all, you have seen and learned the shit to avoid. Kept my promise there, kid, and I feel pretty damn good about that. Yes, I truly do.”

“Steven, no! I didn’t mean to...oh, no...” he breathed out, eyes going wide and I knew he was drawing a deep breath to yell warning, yet I had already seen what was happening in front of us; a car three ahead loosing control as it hit some ice on the overpass, spinning out across lanes and like dominoes, causing all other’s behind to mimic the same in avoidance.

Cold clarity descended instead of panic, time slowing. Did not instinctively slam the brake, but this turn was going to be sharp, so right arm came out, grabbed the kid before his head smacked the passenger side window, then it was to the gearshift, everything focused to ride this baby out to the end.

Horns blaring, headlights facing wrong direction, saw in tail of my eye the one who’d started it all catch and hold on the railing, left front wheel over the edge. Could have stopped things right there, the beamer was a tank with airbags and we would be fine, but if I took this opening, hit the car that was sliding with brakes squealing before us the most likely outcome would be it slamming into the other, sending it half if not completely over the drop.

Time to do some praying to your gods, kid. I’m not anything worthy that mine will hear anymore.

“Hold on!” I yelled, and then grinned for all I was worth because at the same time David had yelled: “Do it!”

Four hard jerks of the wheel, to yank it full left would have just had us hit the other side on instead of this chop-controlled maneuver, and fuck me if it didn’t work...except now it was our turn to hit the ice angled at speed; guardrails dead ahead, a drop of fifty feet straight down into the frozen river waiting below.

No tricks left to play on this field. Nope, no amount of skill or even sheer, dumb, freak-out luck was going to do it here. Just feet off of both gas and brake, right arm pinning against the kid’s screaming chest and left hand on the wheel as the world outside moved past in violent slow motion.

Dead calm was an interesting expression. Quite apropos, really, given the circumstances. Big-ass sound of glass and metal saying, “How do you do!” behind, and eyes sliding across the rearview mirror showed the car which had been following had not miss the one I had, yet it was alright. Both had met with less force as well as well beyond the first car. (Two tiny faces with mouths wide open peering out of its back window. Pale little blobs of life captured and gone in a glance.) Everyone else was stopped, true disaster avoided.

Groovy.

Ah well, here we go. Sorry, David. Knew I was bad, that I destroyed everything I touched, yet even if I had been a saint, taking you out with me grants this old bastard here a golden express ticket straight to hell.

Final few feet ticked off as I looked out my side, the piss-ant rails getting closer. Twenty feet—fifteen—ten—felt as the left tires (rear and then front) touched clear pavement and stomped the gas pedal flat, pulled the wheel straight no matter we were still moving sideways...rear bumper kissed the railing...bent them down like tinfoil and started to pass over, still moving forwards though and I did not yank a hard right, just kept the beamer’s nose straight. Scraping, denting, bumps as rear tire caught and raised us over something then it was THUMP! and all four tires were back on the road moving us forwards on our merry way directly into oncoming traffic.

Piece a cake, I snorted and flipped my high-beams a couple of times to wake everybody up before cruising into the clear, open lane of our proper side, not to mention having those oncoming (possibly with pants filled with fresh loads) not hit the awaiting ice at speed.

Solid ground reached and I pulled us off at the first safe place, hushed the kid and flipped out my cell to make the call which would see all the right flashing-light cavalry take care of the ones behind.

Snapped it shut, dropped the thing into pocket and sat back, “Well, that was fucking interesting.”

“S..s...S-s...”

Oops.

“Easy, kid. You’re all right, I got you,” I soothed. Unsnapped my buckle and leaned over to hold and pat because he was really out of it; shaking and crying and unable to speak yet. “Come on, David, it wasn’t that bad.” Yeah, ha-ha, right. Still, I’d save my freak till later. For right now at least, the kid still needed me.

“...steven...”

“Mm-hmm. Yup, that’s me.

“David,” I said softer, “You are all right. Safe. It’s all okay. Everything is fine now.” Smell of his hair and I closed my eyes, leaned my head closer, breathing deeply, pain filling the center of my chest in a burst spreading outwards, sharp stone catching in my throat.

Last time. Final time I will ever be this close to him. Oh, god, this hurts!

Still held him while he sniffled; sounds of sirens coming close then passing.

“Steven, weren’t you scared?”

Moved my head, “No, kid. I wasn’t scared at all.”

“Why?”

“Guess because there’s not a whole hell of a lot of things left that can scare me anymore. Some, sure, but that just wasn’t one of them.” One final small squeeze, lifted my head so chin touched top of his, my eyes looking up at nothing and blinking rapidly.

All right, Steven, that’s it. He’s fine. Let him go now.

Swallowed and did so, leaned back in my seat and rubbed my face before settling to stare out my side window.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, kid, I’m fine. Just hitting me a little. Figure they’re all fairly busy back there. They’ve got my name from the call so they know I was here. Insurance of whatever the fuck. Man, I don’t even want to look, but...” Hit the button to start the window sinking...and it jammed after only an inch down. “Uh-oh. That is not what I would call a good sign. Ah well.” Tried the door handle. No go. “Awe, fuck.”

“You want me to look?”

“No, no point.” Sigh. “No, it was meant to be. She wanted something in silver anyways.”

“You love this car!”

Absent shrug as I stroked the wheel, gazing out the side window, “Doesn’t matter. No way I was going to get the smoke smell out anyways. Damn.”

“Steven—”

“—Scoot out, kid,” I cut him off. “I have to see if we’re leaking oil or break fluid or anything. The fuel gage seems to be holdings steady, but something down there took a hell of a knock. Sooner I know if we need a tow or not the better.”

Jostling and scooting and I managed to get out of the passenger’s side. Wanted to see this one my own though, so had him stay where he was.

Walked around and, “Awe, damn.” Any car less and the doors would have been swiped off, yet a single glance showed that they would not be opening again anytime soon.

Patted the top and grinned sardonically, “If I had a gun I’d put one through the engine. Poor Beamer.” Oh, well. Tons of crap in the trunk, but I eventually found a flashlight and bent to have a look while the kid was having his of the doors. Wheel seemed fine, minus the cap of course, but there seemed to be no new stains in the grimy salt-melt we were on, so I supposed we would make it back to the apartment fine.

Couple more flashers and sirens going buy, one noticing us and then it was more delay as the cops had their whistles, took notes and got my full info for the insurance company.

Also got the word from back, no major injuries to people. The first car’s passengers, a mother and her two girls perfectly healthy if shaken up. More lights shone beneath, few tests made and we were given official clearance for takeoff. Cop Two told me I deserved a good drink—after I got home.

Don’t worry, I planned to.

Good guys, waited for us to pull back out onto the road, stayed around a bit then waves exchanged as they passed and everyone continued on with their lives.

“He said it could probably be fixed, Steven.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“So?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to fix your car?”

“Sure. Get it back in shape then sign the title over. Least you won’t be so nervous about scratching it. Better than taking the bus to work.”

“Steven, stop it.”

“Hmm?” Glanced over, “Sorry, kid, was doing some thinking here. What did you say?”

“I said to stop it. Stop talking this way.”

“You got it. But if you don’t mind, kid, it is sort of catching up to me and I’d appreciate some quiet. We’re not back to the apartment yet.”

“Okay.”

Think it was fifteen minutes or so later when he got his basket pipe out and lit up. Good, would help with his lingering nerves. Stuff was marvelous when it came to stress.

“You want me to fill yours for you?” I shook me head. “You are not going to give it up again, are you?”

“I’m focusing on the road here.”

“No you’re not because you just drove by our exit.”

Shit.

Just reached for the coffee thermos myself and forwent the cup for a few swallows. Turned the beamer off at the next ramp and started the long circle back. Christ, this day was never going to end. Stuck a jazz CD grabbed at random into the player and cranked it.

At least my collection would be going to a good home. All of them except the Ferny for a keepsake.

And if you ever dare touch it, Shell, I will fucking kill you.

After nearly three more hours of shitty roads, delays moving around another accident and other crap, I finally pulled the beamer into its parking space and shut off the engine.

Welcome home, I snorted cynically and rubbed my tired face, “You can open the door anytime, kid.”

“That bitch is not good enough for you, Steven.”

“That bitch happens to be my wife. Believe me, she is a perfect match.”

“No she isn’t.”

“Kid, I am really too tired for this right now.”

“She isn’t your wife. She left you, Steven.”

“My fault. Made a bunch of mistakes, but I know better now. Don’t fret, I got it covered.”

“Why doesn’t your head hurt?”

Snorted, “Got that covered as well. Couple bottles in my room and by tomorrow morning you will see some expert aspirin chugging.”

“No.”

Rubbed my temple, “Kid, open your god damn door.”

“What are you going to do, hit me if I don’t?”

“Fuck you.” So that is what you think of me, David, eh? Fine. I touched the button and lowered me seat. “Suit yourself, I’ll sleep here.”

“I am sorry.”

“Uh-huh. Whatever. Night,” I said as I crossed my arms and closed me eyes, as comfortable as I was going to get.

Few minutes later, “Do you know why Dellan kicked me out?”

“’Cause he was fucking nuts.”

“Yeah, he was fucking nuts. Do you know why?”

“Sorry, kid, don’t really care,” I muttered. Which was bullshit, and good thing my eyes were closed, because the left one was clenching down like a bitch as the aching rose with anger.

-- END OF TEASER --